L

There's nothing like a big fuckin' group of morons to make a person feel smart. The problem is that there's a big fuckin' group of morons to deal with, and they will probably be in charge sooner or later. That shit makes me long for the days when I thought I was as dumb as they get. Too fuckin' bad, eh? What a fuckin' disappointment.

Careful smart-ass, they're listening.

Sometimes I miss you, but I'll never call you back. You read your poetry to my voice-mailbox. I think about how you don't know whether I listen. Would you still call if you knew I would answer? Do you really have anything to say to me that will bring back the version of you I love? I've left for dead the person I thought you were.
You hurt me. That was an accident and I forgive you.
But for the first time I started hearing your voice without distortion from the wires. It wavered. It lied to me.
There was always something wrong. It was always my fault. You teased me as you tricked me and I cried when I thought you were going to leave me. So I left you.
I don't cry as much anymore.
But I'm still the girl who loves you. I can't make that go away.

It must have been last week that my Baby told me that a member of one of the forums he frequents had killed himself. No one knew what had really happened at first. A friend of the deceased notified the forum of the suicide but it seemed like it could have been a joke. The site administrator soon made the news official and created a ban on derogatory comments about that member. People posted sympathetic messages and photo tributes in memory of the person they knew only through their network. I had always thought of that form of communication as shallow and impersonal and now I don't know what to think. I have never felt a connection with anyone I've met online but this sort of relationship clearly means something to the people who have grown accustomed to it. It's clear if only in that the member's friend felt it necessary to notify the other forum members. What I wonder is whether anyone from the forum was truly saddened by this loss or if it was just another topic to create posts about.

You need to include more insight. I want to know what you think about these issues, not only that you know they exist, although that's a good start. I want you to relate them to your own life and ask yourself how they affect you, if at all. Are you moved? Do you care? I want you to consider other perspectives on the issues and write about how they influence yours. I want you to relate them to current events. I want to know that you are doing outside research. I want you to use these issues to prove to me that you're a real person. Try to prove to me that you matter by telling me what matters to you. Tell me why these issues are important. Why should I care. Give me a reason to keep you alive. I want to see you prove to me that you're more than a mindless piece of shit breathing more than your share of oxygen. I want you to show me that you've put real thought into this.

Overall Grade: B+/A-
Good Effort.