L

"- you and Theo...
you looked so cool.
So sophisticated.
Like a movie star.

"- I was.
I was acting, Matthew."

I think it's time to start playing the fool. And the genius and the rebel and the sweetheart and the harlot and the sarcastic little bitch.
The counting crows told me that "I could have been anyone, you see," so why not be as many different people to as many different people as possible? Just for fun, of course. Just to see what comes of it.
Yeah it's just about that time.

Posting everyday didn't work. I really did think it would for a while but I, of course, am easily distracted. It didn't help my memory much anyway.

Distractions seem to take up the majority of my time, at least in the last few years, keeping me from every really becoming passionate about anything. Worse, I never seem to even try to get anything done until I know that I absolutely have to.

Procrastination is fun though. It's a thrill to type out a paper so quickly that I don't even know what I'm writing anymore, only to get it handed back to me the next week with comments such as "This seems a little disconnected." This is where the editing process would have come in handy if I only considered it important enough to allot time for, which is clearly not the case. "I'll edit it for resubmission," I tell myself, and I often do. Somehow, this process is not as painful as the actual writing of the essay I care nothing about. I am very thankful that Simon Fraser offers this option.

The problem of distraction lies in the internet. Well, that's what our mothers tell us anyway. Sure it's useful for research, but wouldn't we all be so much more focused if it never existed? I tried unplugging my ethernet jack once, forcefully pulling myself out of the world of Facebook and YouTube. Sadly, this didn't help much. I quickly lost interest in what I was writing and, as usual, found an alternative.

I don't consider myself particularly vain, especially since I never thought I was particularly pretty until the end of highschool (a shame for my self-esteem), but it turns out that looking in the mirror can kill a lot of time. There's makeup to be applied, hairstyles to try out, eyebrow-plucking, earring changes...the list goes on.

"Maybe I would stay focused if I isolated myself in some kind of cubicle without any distractions," I thought to myself, packing my things to go to the library. This is the worst distraction of all. First off, I pass the dining hall on my way there, at which point I feel a twinge of hunger. "I'll be distracted by this hunger if I don't go get something to eat." But other people have thought of this as well, and soon I find myself socializing, discussing how much work there is to do over cheeseburgers and tea. A few hours later, I make it to the library and go to my favourite floor. I spend half an hour or so looking for the least distracting place to sit and finally settle down to do some work. After writing a sentence or two, I find myself wandering through the stacks, reading Vonnegut and Crumey for inspiration. After a while, I get tired and go home.

I try to make myself sit down and write, just write, no excuses, no getting up to go to the bathroom, nothing. I do this for a while and it actually works but soon enough, I decide that I've been working hard and need a break. I plug the ethernet cable back in.